Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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