it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
did i just pee glitter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
