...so i touched it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
