She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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