i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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