Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
