My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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