i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
