There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
