i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
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