Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
