Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just invented taco cereal.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
