at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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