At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
