I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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