dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
