uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
