check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
