called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
