I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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