you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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