Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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