Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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