She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
