I didn't shave. On purpose
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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