So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
