so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
