WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
