tell your sister to shave her snatch
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
