Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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