His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
