Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
