I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
