its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
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I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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