We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
