He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
