And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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