i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
