Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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