Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
