Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is my gift to your gina
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
