I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize