I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
