so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you never un-have a 4some
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