Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize