I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
