since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
