I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
