okay pat passed out under dana's car
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
