yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she woke up with a sticky ear
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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