I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
