my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
