Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
