I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The beer is more important than you right now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
